This rant is brought to you by Kyle on 11/08/08
I am tired of automatic statements that have been forced into our everyday language without any thought given to them. The following are examples of these statements: have a nice day, see you later, take care, etc. People are far too complacent; we’ve fallen into a trend that we can’t get out of and we don’t even acknowledge it exists. What if I’ve just gotten news that my best friend caught AIDS from a transsexual encounter in a back alley? How can I be expected to have a nice day after learning that the rest of his now short life will be filled with humor about his sexual choices? Having a nice day is far too much pressure. It’s an unrealistic goal. Ask yourself this for proof: when was the last time you had a nice day? Please remember, that's an all inclusive day; 24 hours without one slight unpleasant fraction of a second. It’s just too difficult to do. You cannot control all 24 hours in a day and ensure that they will all be pleasant.
This all came to me when I saw a mother on the street telling her child to “be a good little boy.” The nerve of some parents! How can this child be expected to be good for the rest of his remaining years has an infant? Not only that but how can he control being little? This child is now faced with hoping that his genetic disposition keeps his height below 5’4 (midget size) all the while he needs to stay ‘good’ for the remainder of his life. Let’s not even explore the dilemma that would arise if he wanted a sex change. Because of the mother’s phrasing, he’s now faced with two possible outcomes:
a> He could be a ‘good little boy’, following his mother’s requests and never experience life or more likely,
b> He will not be a ‘good little boy’, thus failing his mother and causing Freudian worshipers everywhere to not shut the fuck up for at least another decade.
This is clear empirical proof that the before mentioned sentences need to go for the good of mankind. Being the productive member of society that I am, I’d like to offer some suggestions towards fixing this complex problem.
1. Contain yourself: It seems to me that the root of this problem is that we aren’t setting realistic goals. Had the mother said, “be a good little boy for the next 30 seconds while I try to find you a new daddy by bending over and flaunting what’s under my short skirt” , then we would have avoided this rant completely. I am weary of any statement that doesn’t have limitations; you should be too. People have grown accustomed to using them and I’ve taken it upon myself to ensure that this trend ends immediately. Instead tell people to have, "a nice next few moments" or "please have a decently satisfactory before noon". These are all achievable goals.
2. Stop using language for the sake of talking: It seems to me that people have made language into an automated mechanism. We’ve stopped thinking about what we say and have instead opted for spouting verbal diarrhea at every opportunity. It’s gotten progressively worse throughout my lifetime and it’s about time we make a collective stand against it.
Let's start being more realistic. Remember kids, only you can help stop stupidity from spreading any further. This could be the generation that does it!
“I dream of a better tomorrow. A tomorrow where a chicken may cross the street without having his motives questioned.” - Unknown
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